Friday, August 10, 2007

all i know how to write about is top chef

Wow, what an episode. Weasel's comment ignited my curiosity so I went and read all the spoilers before watching the episode. Still, I couldn't have prepared myself for the rage I felt during the hour when I finally did have the chance to watch it last night.

First off, admittedly, Sara N. totally sabotaged herself, but for the judges to tell the chefs on the chopping block that one of them had the personality that's made for a competition like this (Gross Sweaty Howie) and the other not (Sara N.) was ridiculous. Someone like Harold who won Season One despite being unable to finish that first challenge where all he had to do was work a service line in Hubert Keller's kitchen but totally bombed because he was too much of a scaredy cat with rattly hands *is* built to be in a competition like this? I can not stand how the judges constantly manipulate the rules and definitions of the competition on a show to show basis. It stinks. And exactly what is lacking from Sara's personality that made her a poor contestant on this show? The ability to be an asshole? To be passive aggressive? To never want to be held accountable for ANYTHING. To not be able work well with others?

I take back what I said about Joey in my last entry. Howie is the vilest thing ever to be on this show. Please put on a headband, watching you sweat over your food episode after episode makes me want to hurl. Note only is he vile but he's also over the top self-righteous. Throwing Sara N. "over the bus" was so uncalled for. Enough with your bullshit attitude! I'm so sick of hearing you talk like you have 15 Jell-O shots in your mouth. Judges, the fact that you guys continue to keep him here is cause for dismissal for each and every one of you. You're all fired! Even you Ted Allen, who I love.

Poor Sara, she really did just want to go dancing. But how stupid was the cast as a whole to think they were really going to go dancing?

More thoughts:
Hung: He really doesn't get it, does he? Tempura flakes in ice cream for texture? But won't the melty ice cream make the flakes all mushy? I did like how excited he was to go dance.
Dale: Definitely in my top three now. I loved his little dance with Sara in the beginning. Also, his little dinner date with Govind Armstrong made me crack up.
CJ: Now I think I definitely want you to win. I loved that he called Brian Malarkey the most annoying person int he world. He's able to snark without coming across like a big asshole.
Brian: The idea to do a raw bar and prep it outside was genius. Less cooks in the small space. I tip my hat.
Casey: During the judge's table, to me at least, it felt like she was maybe calling out Sara N re: the slow pace of slider making. As dumb as it was, I did love that she put Sriracha in her ice cream.
Sara M.: Was she even in this episode? I hate when they do this.
Tre: Good to see him loosen up. Jeeze! As good as his dish looked, I don't know about the concept of it as a late night snack from a cart. I want something I can hold in one hand, not something I need a fork to eat with. Wrap those grits around the shrimp and deep fry that sucker!
Howie: Go away. How embarrassing for you, Mr. Food Gang, to have all this experience in and with Miami and still not be able to make a decent Cubano. Also, like we're supposed to believe bouncers ever let you into clubs? I don't think so.
Sara N.: Sad to see her go even though she shocked me by lasting this long. I wish she could have articulated herself to Howie a little better. Maybe she did but it was edited out?



Blogger weasel said...

Man, I was trying really hard not to blow it for you (I even deleted my original comment detailing Sarah's demise).

Howie reminds me of the leader of the Ant Hill mob on Penelope Pitstop, a reference I suspect only a few sadsack thirtysomethings are going to twig.

I'm with CJ all the way. It is about time someone really tall, self deprecating, and surfer chill won something on one of these shows.

August 11, 2007 4:45 PM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

Your Ant Hill mob comparison is so spot on. Howie unfortunately boasts that Hanna-Barbera 5 o'clock shadow which is cute on a cartoon, but not cute on a human.

August 13, 2007 10:38 PM  

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