Thursday, June 22, 2006

Subway Series

Today I got into a fight on the subway. I was at the Atlantic/Pacific stop, waiting to transfer to the N train. The train pulled up and people starting filing out. They were all on one side of the door and so the other side was open. No one else was coming out so I started going in. Then I literally deflected off a big lady who looked like a wand of cotton candy with her bright pink top. Actually like cotton candy with a pile of Korean squid snacks on the top of her head. She pushed me out of the way to get through as she rushed by. She was late getting off and I was in her way. And so as she passed by me, I totally shoved her! As I made my way to an empty seat, she came back on and yelled at me, "You don't push me. You do it again and I'll kick your ass." I don't disagree that she could have easily taken me down with a flick of her wrist. She was twice the size of me. But I thought it was funny that the threat applied to a future pushing of her, as if I would see her regularly. Tomorrow I will take the F instead.



Blogger Listmaker said...

you should have pushed her again.

June 23, 2006 12:31 AM  
Blogger weasel said...

A golden opportunity to channel your inner Sergeant Martin Riggs and get all crazy in a confined space.

June 27, 2006 9:52 AM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

did you just make a Lethal Weapon reference?

June 27, 2006 11:41 AM  
Blogger weasel said...

All roads ultimately lead back to Patsy Kensit.

Just think, if you were doing a later-model Riggs, you could say "your diplomatic immunity has been revoked" as you pushed her then slapped at your own head.

June 27, 2006 1:20 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

I'm always amazed at how many people can't seem to figure out basic subway on-off procedures. For example, in this case, if you're getting off, be ready by the door to get off ASAP, as people are waiting for you before they get on.

What gets me pissed off day after day is when I'm waiting for the Q train at 42nd St. on my way home from work. The Q starts at 57th, and 42nd is the next stop. So there are always some open seats at 42nd, sometimes quite a few and sometimes not as many. My priority when I get on is getting to an open seat so I can sit down. You would think that everyone who takes that train would appreciate the situation and act accordingly. But no, almost every day I get stuck behind one or more people who saunter onto the train as slowly as possible and stand there dumbfounded, blocking me, while the quicker people who entered via the other doors are all racing to fill up the empty seats. I end up wanting to shove someone or yell "Move your ass!"

June 28, 2006 12:47 PM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

i have a big problem with the way people move in this city in general. the worst is when the train pulls in and you are trying to get through the turnstiles to catch the train and all the fuckers who exited that train just refuse to stop for 3 seconds to let you through. instead you wait and wait and wait until either the train pulls out of the station or like the one decent person stops and lets you through. but the train has pulled out anyway.

subway stairs saunterers i can't even get into. especially those who take up the entire width instead of sticking to the right side, or any side for that matter.

June 29, 2006 11:59 AM  
Blogger weasel said...

It might be a nationwide phenomenon with subtle regional shifts. I used to struggle daily with walking home from work through Bar Harbor in the summer, as the sidewalks would be occupied 3 wide by family groups who would saunter and then stop suddenly without any thought for people behind them/trying to pass them to get to the pub.

My tentative theory- disproved by NYC and other pedestrian heavy cities, alas- is that modern Americans do 90% of their walking along the broad boulevards of shopping malls, which are designed for aimless meandering with random stops. Thus when walking elsewhere they are pre-programmed to be oblivious arseheads.

June 30, 2006 9:49 AM  

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