what's wrong with televison today or why i should be on the gilmore girls
of course i still have problems with this. for instance, on my dear gilmore girls there's the character of lane kim. her mother (momma kim) is super religious and has installed this fleeting fear of god in her. she's commanding, strict, unreasonable, completely anti anything secular - all that fun stuff that made my adolesence just as charming. lane reacts to this by hiding new pornographers and young marble giants cds under floorboards. brilliant. ok, so here's my problem. why are both these characters played by japanese-american actresses? surely there were korean actresses who auditioned for the roles of lane and mamma kim. where they really that awful? alright, so they hire non-koreans to play korean. i guess i can live with that. but what i can't live with is why their korean accents are so terrible. are they not getting their scripts in advance so they can practice enunciating and rolling their tongues? don't get me wrong, i love kyoko agena and emily kuroda - i think they are both formidable in their roles. i just wish they would have made mama - i just realized i spelled mama differently each time i've written it - less ethnic so kuroda could get away with having such an awful accent. so like i say, i can live with this for the most part, but then they introduce lane's cousin from korea, kyon, and it has me flying off the handle.
i don't know the background of the actress who plays kyon. i'm pretty sure she's korean but who knows. she speaks halting english as a second language and winds up sounding like the swedish chef from the muppets. argh! i just read some spoilers and she's going to be on another episode! why can't it be me? slap some pancake on my face, let the lighting offer up some trickery and i'd be good to go, right? my english and korean are horrible - i'd be perfect for the part. i want to eat hamburgers at luke's diner and not shop at the cat shop because i am allergic to cats. i want to have bible study class with lane and have her introduce to me the world of fried foods. seriously, how can i get on this show? if you know someone who knows someone else, help me out here. i think i could do a great job. ok, a passable job. i really can't act for shit, but i can definitely talk with a bullshit korean or english accent. the one thing i am decent at is imitations! ask stone groove - he told me that over thanksgiving and i think i'd agree. maybe i could meet lane on friendster or myspace and we can trade bootlegs with each other. maybe we can meet at the korean church mixer our parents have forced us to attend where i notice the great buzzcocks pin on lane's bag and we become friends. or maybe i could play dave rygalski's new girlfriend.
alright, now on lost, they cast daniel dae kim in the role of jin. he and his wife, played by yunjin kim, no relation, are korean. we are led to believe they do not speak english until a half dozen episodes in when yunjin's character opens her mouth and english comes spilling out. holy shit. but that's not my point. daniel dae kim speaks korean all throughout the episodes (he does not know his wife speaks english and for all we know, he may as well) and his korean accent is terrible. through my dilligent surfing of the internet, i learned that this actor was born in korea, but came to america when he was about 2 years old. kind of like my brother, only my brother's korean accent is WAY better than kim's. my brother should be on this show! and i could be on gilmore girls and we could be like the korean version of the gyllenhaals!
so if you're out there, consider giving me a chance.
g'amsah hap'ni dah.