Monday, October 25, 2004

dirty pennies and unwrapped kisses

halloween is approaching and i'm without a costume...again. last year doesn't count, because my house hosted a party and I had to get dressed. also, am i to really believe hollywood will provide me with inspiration by casting asian females on a regular basis?

i've come up with some good ideas for balgavy (bruce villanch, mr. belvedere), but i have yet to come up with a single idea for me. i think i shot my wad during the tween years - in the sixth grade, i was a box of cheerios. i decorated huge sheets of yellow posterboard with crayola markers. i wore a yellow sweat suit and a baseball cap with cheerios glues on it. the following year, in the 7th grade, i made myself into a bag of ruffles. i thought my costume was pretty hot shit, until grace nigro in the 8th grade showed up wearing a ruffles costume too! mine was made out of two pieces of poster board, hers was crafted out of felt. it was so much better. i bet her mom sewed it for her. man was i pissed, but of course my pissed offness was quickly offset by fear and embarassment as grace came up to me and made fun of my low-rent outfit. she also accused me of copying her. man did i feel small. my costume in the eight grade was another one of the homemade variety - this time i went as a hershey's bar. again i utilized poster board (man, i loved that stuff) and wrapped each end with aluminum foil. luckily there were no other chocolate bars that halloween.

so what the hell do i wear this year? i used to love this holiday - i think i continued trick or treating until i was like 17. the town i grew up in was a series of high-rise condos. you'd start at the top floor of a building and you were good for the rest of the night. some of the tenants didn't want to be bothered so they would leave a basket of candy in front of their doors with a sign that read "one each." yeah right, one each. you'd come up to the basket and it'd always be empty. the first person who reached it would totally dump it all in their bag and call it a night. the worst though was when some dum-dum would answer the door all frazzled and give you some lame explanation about how they forgot it was halloween and didn't have any treats for you. they'd drop a couple dirty pennies into your bag. like you want those filthy coins coming near your stash!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

jeremy says:
i see a trend with your costumes. what foodstuff could you be this year? how about a fried twinkie?
one year a woman ran out of candy so she invited us into her house and we waited as she scrounged around in her cupboard, finally offering us each a can of soda. another guy that same evening also ran out but fearing an egg attack or something also started handing out his groceries, providing us with giant moonpies to eat as we walked.

October 26, 2004 10:22 AM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

i see that trend throughout my entire being! a fried twinkie is promising. first off, i am a twinkie (yellow on the outside, white on the inside) so that part of the constume is taken care of. i can just put on a gunny sack and voila! what's the little guy gonna be?

October 26, 2004 10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jeremy responds:
the little man is going to be a pirate. he went through about 25 different options but then his cousin gave him some mermaid tattoos and that sealed the deal.

October 26, 2004 2:14 PM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

oh, he is just going to be a delightful little pirate, isn't he? have you taught him how to say "arrrr" all menacingly yet?

October 26, 2004 4:49 PM  
Blogger Listmaker said...

how about you dress as kimchi?

October 26, 2004 5:21 PM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

and just exactly how would one make a kimchi costume?

October 26, 2004 6:08 PM  
Blogger Listmaker said...

construction paper, darling, construction pepper. and some pepper.

October 26, 2004 11:22 PM  
Blogger youthlarge said...

blah. anyway, jim gave me the best idea ever!

October 27, 2004 5:22 PM  
Blogger Listmaker said...

yeah? do tell.

October 27, 2004 6:14 PM  

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